Prayer is the "connection" between us, man and God, I know. A dialogue that can be as simple as a whimper of fear, or a candle lit and a silent wish, or as formal as a entire Christian community joined in worship. And there are so many "inbetween" ways of man reaching toward God. I wonder, how can man not reach out? I really can't imagine that condition of non-spirituality. But, I think that more "reach out" without putting a label on what they are doing, and that the world is not as "unbelieving" as some think.
You may pray without realizing it is a prayer. Prayer is simply raising thoughts toward God...whatever you are calling "Him." It could be that some people don't want to admit to prayer because it may make them seem "needy" and this is an "independant" type world. It's macho not to be needy. If you are single, don't admit you are lonely...it makes you less desirable. Play the role of the "happy single." Does that sound familiar? If you are lost spiritually, don't admit it...just act happy and you'll be OK. Personally, I have never cared for the "suit of armour" that people wear. My heart is usually in plain view to all.
Even so, it is possible to miss the real needs of our souls. We don't even know what it is we are missing, until we are forced to go on a journey and seek it. No matter how sheltered we've been by a loving family. No matter how blocked off we've become from life experiences. Whatever our state in life is, a time will come when we need to "meet our Savior." It is a true need for survival, in this world, or the next. And, if we never do that here...we will end up having to do it "there." Maybe that is what happens in Purgatory. I know that protestant Christians don't agree with the concept of such a place, but that is not a reason to disagree.
Somewhere, somehow...we need to get fully "reconnected" with God. For our own good, to enable us to enjoy all that He has for us in eternity, we need this "opening up." Conversion is the "label" put on it...I think of it as a journey back into the life force that gave us this life...God. We came from God, and he wants us to return to Him. Yet, after being human, there many things that stand in our way.
Having a potentially terminal illness, myself, I find myself fighting to survive. I pray feverishly for a miracle cure. I am panicked by the next steps into a new reality coming my way before I have had a chance to get totally prepared. I am not a "loner" and going on alone...as we all must... strikes such fear in me. I can tell myself, everyone must die, yet it does me no good. I suggest that I will have no more physical pain, which I have personally carried for many years. Trying to tell myself that my worries will end, there will be peace in heaven, just isn't getting the job done. Do I have a lack of faith, or do I need to start removing all the things that are standing around me as a "wall" between me and God?
And, I say to myself, if I...a Christian, since infancy, raised to "believe" so that it is a part of me, can have fears...how then does a non-believer feel at the thought of death? Is that desperation the cause of so many horrible acts of violence? I don't doubt it, when children are killing children, and mothers are consenting to the babies in their wombs being murdered. A person who believed in eternal life would hardly desire to face God with that past trailing after them. Only a soul doubting any afterlife, a God who cares, or clouded by evil influences, would be so disturbed and angry. And only "God" could stand ever ready to forgive any person who asks.
Another part of me is very different...it has a deep belief that God is "in charge" and He does care. He can turn any situation around in a blink of the eye. And since I have always been connected to Him through my Baptism into the Christian Family, I know that I have been heard when I pray. But the question in my mind is...how do I recieve the "answer?" It must certainly have to do with how I ask. The Scriptures tell us to ask "believing" we are recieving the answer. But sometimes this answer is not so obvious that we can "see" it with our humanity. We see such a small portion of the whole of God's plan. But the simple formula for prayer, from the mouth of Jesus is simple.
"Our Father, who art in heaven!" he tells us to address God in this way. And then we are to praise him "Hallowed be Thy Name!" We let him know that we desire what He does "Thy Kingdom come.....Thy Will be done. On earth, as it is in heaven." We are told to make our needs known, "Give us this day our daily bread." This is where we can probably ask for all of our temporal needs. "And forgive us our trespasses" we all need forgiveness, "as we forgive those who trespass against us." This is a heavy responsibility. It seems we are responsible for how God judges us...by our actions toward others! How much of a revelation is that to some of us? "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." That is a strong request for protection, especially in this day and age. And such a simple and straightforward prayer as this, I think may be the way we are to begin our prayer each time we "talk" to God.
I am not totally convinced it is the "only" prayer we need to say....or why are there so many 100's of them written through the ages by all faiths? I have no doubt that God "knows" all of our needs. But we are also told that we need to "ask" and "it shall be given." So, this is no real big problem for me. It is a nice feeling to be "in prayer" in my thoughts, or words, or actions. It's sort of second nature for me, a Christian since infancy. And there are as many ways to pray as there are flavors of ice cream! There is no "magic button" to push to get a speedy answer, I don't believe, but I do think the more we can "let go and let God" the better he likes it. This does not mean to pray once and wait, in my opinion...it means to pray as often as you need to, but do so believing God has heard the first time and is doing what He feels is best. And if continued prayer wasn't a means of getting favorable results, the bible would not have told of the woman who kept pestering the "judge" until he finally acknowledged her.
I am not saying to be a "pest" but to be consistant. There is no such thing as too much prayer...yet I am not saying to be a "noisey gong" in God's ear. It's probably the content of the same prayer, that can be evolved and changed, There's the first urgent cries of "God! Why!" or "come on! Now!" But as you continue to wait, and seek, the prayer has the same request, but the way we make it changes. There are stages we go through. When I heard that the cancer in my body had returned and spread, I was shocked. I was hurt, and fearful. I had praised God publicly for years for healing me! And yet, it was never gone. The desease was still in me. I even felt a moment of betrayal from God, in my heart. But later, I realized that I had had seven years of life.
There is so much to learn in this life. And for some, the lesson is full of many hurts, many disappointments...despite living a Christian life. Not all of us get the "happy life" or the "easy walk." Not all are given abundance, or health. This is a very hard fact. I tought from childhood, being God's child would be all "good things." And I have waited for them...but they are sometimes subtle, and we need to look for them. Those who lead the "charmed life" are like a "sore thumb" for other who do their best to love God, but lose their job, or their mate cheats on them, their kids use drugs, they over-eat, or they just "never understand?" But we are all God's children, people! And these unfortunate things that happen are sometimes partially our fault, but Not always our fault. There are those who suffer, despite all efforts to be good christians.
There are Christians who love Gods Commandments, believe in them...but there is the woman who falls in love, believes the man of her dreams, asks God's blessing, gets married and finds out she married a liar, or an apethetic fool! He doesn't "really" believe, he doesn't really "care" about anything, except "where's dinner!" This happens everyday. And then, after years of silent pain, when this woman is forced to divorce, to save her sanity...she is further rebuffed by her fellow christians who tell her "till death do ye part!" She has endured such emotional pain, and deprivations of her emotions only to be hurt deeper by her spiritual family. In her heart, she always believed in the "good" and in her life she is forced to do the "bad" and get the divorce.
So when she prays she feels unworthy. She is wounded. She is unsure of what she can rightfully ask from her God? You can apply this senario to a lot of different situations. The common denominator is...we want to be "good" but we come to a point where we have to do something that seems "bad" in order to survive. This leaves us with a brokeness that makes us feel unworthy, not entitled to God's blessing. And we are crippled in our prayer. So, how do we see God as a more loving, understanding, "parent?" I think that's what the "healing journey" is. God will not be permissive of sin, but he loves us and knows we are only "human" and we get into "situations" that stress us beyond our ability to handle them. I don't refer to those who willfully sin, and then say they want to return to the fold. For them, healing is probably simple. They sin, confess, feel forgiven and go on. They felt "bad" and knew they had commited an act willfully, so they have no real "issues."
The "wounded" I speak of are those who feel they have really tried, and have suffered long, and yet they feel deserted by their "heavenly father." The key word here is "feel," a feeling is something that shapes a person's perception of a situation. Feelings can result from a person's upbringing, or peer group experiences, or by the world and it's condition. Feelings can be influenced by our health, both physical and mental. So, maybe feelings aren't a really reliable reference point in spiritual matters. Yet, the facts seem clear, good people do get hurt. "Bad things happen to good people." The innocent do suffer. And we wonder why.